Part 1: God’s Heart Search
What do you long for in life & ministry?
My heart longs to bear spiritual fruit for the glory of God. I desire my life and ministry to be useful to God and count for eternity! My heart cries out with Moses:
“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!” (Ps. 90:17)
I don’t want a wasted life. At the end of this age, with life behind me and eternity before me, someone waits. My Master.
His first words will ring in my ears for all eternity. I long to hear these words: “Well done good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your master” (Matt. 25:21)! This will be my soul’s treasure and joy. I want “Well Done” ringing in my ears for all eternity!
But this fear haunted me: “What if I fail?” What if the life I thought was pleasing isn’t actually pleasing to my Master? What if God says: “I had so much more that I wanted to use you for. If only you had trusted me…”
Because of the potential to fail, I want to know if I am on course to obtain the prize. Marathon runners check their times at mile markers to ensure they are on pace to finish well. That is what I want to do. If I am off course I want to know now while adjustments can be made. If I wait, it will be too late.
So what should I do? Do I simply try to run harder and hope for the best, or is there a better way?
Paul shows us a better way. He tells us to “run that you may obtain” the prize. There is a way to run and a way not to run. Paul ran with a desire to win. But he ran with more than desire. He also did “not run aimlessly” (1 Cor. 9:26). In other words, Paul didn’t simply run harder, he ran in the right direction.
To help me find that direction I began to ask this question:
“Why did God use some people more than others?”
How do I know what to decide?
How do I know when to decide?
In life and ministry we often come to a crossroads where we must make a decision that will affect the rest of our lives. You know the kind. . . the ones that simultaneously fill you with excitement and fear. They are the ones that keep you awake at night analyzing every variable.
I have come to many crossroads where I faced life altering ministry decisions. “Should I go into missions?” “Which ministry?” “Should I change ministry/location?” “Should I have a tall or grande coffee?” (Just making sure you’re still with me.) Each of these decisions would affect the rest of my life and my family.
I wish there was a quick and easy formula to find God’s will, but there isn’t. It takes a lot of time in prayer.
However, I have found that I typically ask myself many questions before choosing a path. During our transition from Tanzania to Portugal, I wrote these questions down to help me with future decisions and to share with others.
These questions are not a formula to follow, but a path to follow day by day. Sometimes, it takes me weeks or months to work through them. They help me examine my heart to see if I am walking close to Jesus and being led by the Holy Spirit or if I am drifting. The order is not inspired, but I wait until I can answer “yes” on each question before proceeding with a ministry decision. Once I have answered “yes”, I act. It is too easy to hide behind unknowns. If I know what God has called me to do, I need to step out in faith and trust Him to work out the unknowns. If He planned the path, He also planned the details.
I hope these questions will be beneficial to you as you seek to follow God.
How do I know which decision is right?
Which path should I take?
In life and ministry we often come to a crossroads. A decision that will forever change our life. One path seams easier. The other path is blocked by fear. Choosing a path can be confusing and frightening. It can leave us endlessly analyzing each decision.
Over the years, I have faced many fearful decisions: starting an AIDS ministry in South Africa, opening an AIDS care home, beginning to train Zulu pastors, and taking the Regional Director role in East Africa. Looking back, I see a pattern in the decision making process. I had a list of questions I asked myself, but I usually got stuck on this: Will I take the path marked FEAR?
In many parts of life, avoiding fear is wise. Fear keeps me from playing hopscotch in traffic and jumping rope with cobras. It keeps me safe.
But what about following God? When God calls me to follow, it’s not to safety, it’s to faith. Faith by its very nature means stepping out beyond my ability and control. This causes me to feel anxious and fearful because I am not in control. This initial feeling of fear is normal. As much as I don’t like the feeling of fear, I am learning that it can actually help me see which path God wants me to take.
How do I know which decision is right?
Take the path marked FEAR.
Walk towards fear, not away from it.
How can I find peace?
If I am serving God, shouldn't God make my life easier, not harder?
I have always wanted my life to glorify God - to live a life that shows God’s infinite power and worth so that He gets all the praise, not me. In fact, this was the main reason I went into missions. The Bible is filled with stories of people who God used to show His power. Reading these stories, my heart says “Lord, use me for your glory, show your power through me!”. Maybe you can relate.
But here is something I missed (or maybe I secretly hoped that I would be the exception): When God used people to show His power- did He use comfort or trials?
They are God’s most used tool.
Think about the stories from the Bible of people God used. He entrusted Job, Joseph, Daniel, Moses, David, Isaiah, Paul and many others with major trials. Most of the people we remember faced great trials. In fact, we remember them because of how they faced their trials. Had they never faced a major trial, we probably wouldn’t know their name.
This has massive implications on our life if we desire to be used by God for His glory. Last time I checked, the Trinity hasn’t announced a change in strategy. God still uses trials. God still uses storms.
So my reality check was this: If I want to be used by God for His glory…I must be prepared for trials. God entrusts us with Trials. Lots of them. Paul said that “through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God”. (Acts 14:22)
Do you want to be used by God? It’s worth it, but it isn’t easy. If we want to be used by God for His glory, we will be entrusted with trials.
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