How do I know which decision is right?
Which path should I take?
In life and ministry we often come to a crossroads. A decision that will forever change our life. One path seams easier. The other path is blocked by fear. Choosing a path can be confusing and frightening. It can leave us endlessly analyzing each decision.
Over the years, I have faced many fearful decisions: starting an AIDS ministry in South Africa, opening an AIDS care home, beginning to train Zulu pastors, and taking the Regional Director role in East Africa. Looking back, I see a pattern in the decision making process. I had a list of questions I asked myself, but I usually got stuck on this: Will I take the path marked FEAR?
In many parts of life, avoiding fear is wise. Fear keeps me from playing hopscotch in traffic and jumping rope with cobras. It keeps me safe.
But what about following God? When God calls me to follow, it’s not to safety, it’s to faith. Faith by its very nature means stepping out beyond my ability and control. This causes me to feel anxious and fearful because I am not in control. This initial feeling of fear is normal. As much as I don’t like the feeling of fear, I am learning that it can actually help me see which path God wants me to take.
How do I know which decision is right?
Take the path marked FEAR.
Walk towards fear, not away from it.
How can I find peace?
If I am serving God, shouldn't God make my life easier, not harder?
I have always wanted my life to glorify God - to live a life that shows God’s infinite power and worth so that He gets all the praise, not me. In fact, this was the main reason I went into missions. The Bible is filled with stories of people who God used to show His power. Reading these stories, my heart says “Lord, use me for your glory, show your power through me!”. Maybe you can relate.
But here is something I missed (or maybe I secretly hoped that I would be the exception): When God used people to show His power- did He use comfort or trials?
They are God’s most used tool.
Think about the stories from the Bible of people God used. He entrusted Job, Joseph, Daniel, Moses, David, Isaiah, Paul and many others with major trials. Most of the people we remember faced great trials. In fact, we remember them because of how they faced their trials. Had they never faced a major trial, we probably wouldn’t know their name.
This has massive implications on our life if we desire to be used by God for His glory. Last time I checked, the Trinity hasn’t announced a change in strategy. God still uses trials. God still uses storms.
So my reality check was this: If I want to be used by God for His glory…I must be prepared for trials. God entrusts us with Trials. Lots of them. Paul said that “through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God”. (Acts 14:22)
Do you want to be used by God? It’s worth it, but it isn’t easy. If we want to be used by God for His glory, we will be entrusted with trials.
Busyness Driven by Desire to Please God-
Years ago I discovered a tension in my life and ministry. Not a tension between other people, but a tension inside of me, the tension between being still and being busy. Maybe you have felt it also. Because of my desire to hear God’s “well done”, I found myself busy doing for God. I desired to see God glorified through me, so I did, and did, and did. I was addicted to busyness.
I would like to say that I was trusting God for the results (because I felt that I was), but my actions told a different story. One indicator of this was that I felt guilty when I would stop working. If I wasn't doing something, I felt I was being lazy, unproductive and unfruitful. So I would fill up every empty spot with something. You know the drill.
My life showed what I really believed: that doing was the most important thing. I was more dependent on my actions for results than on God. If I was truly dependent on God for the results, then I would have spent more time alone with Jesus, more time in prayer and less time worrying about details while trying to "look busy”.
Busyness Driven by Desire for Productive Ministry-
I also desired a productive ministry. I discovered that I felt productive when I was extremely busy. It felt like I was so important to the ministry that I couldn’t slow down. I was always doing something, surely all that activity was productive!
Have you ever had a trial that overwhelmed your life?
You know the kind. When first faced with the trial, it is like a huge cliff in your path, stopping all forward momentum. Your life comes to a screeching halt and from your vantage point you see no way around it.
If you are like me, when you face trials you are quick to look at the whole problem. We never merely look at today’s problem; we look at tomorrow's, and then the next day, etc. As we look at the endless problems that could come our way we think, "I can’t continue”. We don’t feel that we have the strength to pass through our problem.
A few years ago the Lord allowed me to go through one of these trials. In the midst of it, God used the words of Jeremiah to instruct my heart and bring great comfort.
Jeremiah lived a hard life, filled with trials. He was utterly dismayed and didn’t know how he could continue (see Lamentations 3:1-20). But even in the midst of trials, he found hope. This same hope is available to us today.
Our family recently went through a time of uncertainty. While not going into the details, God used this trial to force us to rely 100% on God for our next steps. The situation was completely outside of our control, leaving us to have faith in: 1. God's plan and 2. God's timing.
Over the years, I have realized that there are 2 paths that fear usually takes. Whenever we are thrown into a trial that is outside of our control, it is an opportunity to live in faith or to live in fear.
Here are two paths that fear can take:
1.To fear something is to fear that God is not in control of that something.
2. To fear something is to fear that God’s will is not best for our life.
Fear that God is not in control:
1. The first kind of fear is rooted in trusting God’s complete sovereignty (His eternal plan and control over all that comes to pass). Most of us believe in our head that God is in control, but what happens when a trial comes? I find that my head and my heart are often vastly different.
This challenge from my college professor (Kelly O’Rear) has guided me for 19 years. Most Christians understand this conceptually, but few in practice. When God lays on our heart an opportunity to serve him, something as simple as sharing the gospel or something as life altering as going into foreign missions, our answer needs to be “yes”, not “I’ll try” or “I’ll do it if _____”.
“I’ll try”: The paths that God leads us down will involve difficulty and discomfort. There will be days we don’t enjoy the ministry. There will be days when other things sound more enticing. When we say “I’ll try”, what we mean is this: “if there comes a point when I am not comfortable or happy then I am taking control”. We haven’t surrendered complete control when we are just “trying it out”. God wants our answer to be “yes”, not “I’ll try”.
I’ll do it if _____”: When we put stipulations on our obedience we rarely take the first step to follow God’s leading. We are like the plane that never gets off the runway. If we only obey God’s leading when it fits into our plans, who is really in control? We are.