Busyness Driven by Desire to Please God-
Years ago I discovered a tension in my life and ministry. Not a tension between other people, but a tension inside of me, the tension between being still and being busy. Maybe you have felt it also. Because of my desire to hear God’s “well done”, I found myself busy doing for God. I desired to see God glorified through me, so I did, and did, and did. I was addicted to busyness.
I would like to say that I was trusting God for the results (because I felt that I was), but my actions told a different story. One indicator of this was that I felt guilty when I would stop working. If I wasn't doing something, I felt I was being lazy, unproductive and unfruitful. So I would fill up every empty spot with something. You know the drill.
My life showed what I really believed: that doing was the most important thing. I was more dependent on my actions for results than on God. If I was truly dependent on God for the results, then I would have spent more time alone with Jesus, more time in prayer and less time worrying about details while trying to "look busy”.
Busyness Driven by Desire for Productive Ministry-
I also desired a productive ministry. I discovered that I felt productive when I was extremely busy. It felt like I was so important to the ministry that I couldn’t slow down. I was always doing something, surely all that activity was productive!