Kyle & Heather's Blog

Resource of the month: The COACH Model

11/9/2017

The COACH Model for Christian Leaders: Powerful Leadership Skills to Solve Problems, Reach Goals, and Develop Others
By Keith Webb

For a book summary of "The COACH Model" click HERE.

I had a disease. Like many, I suffered from an acute case of “know-it-all-ism” (with the telltale symptom of trying to solve everyone’s problems).

My heart was right…or at least partially right. When offering solutions to other’s problems I truly wanted to help. I loved sharing knowledge that had benefited me. However, I also enjoyed being the person with answers. There was definitely some pride behind my “know-it-all-ism”.

Whenever people shared problems, I immediately offered a solution. But as the years dragged on I noticed something (quick learner that I am), a very small number of people actually followed my advice. Or, someone would “discover” a solution that I had suggested years ago with no recollection of my advice.

Part of my role as Regional Director is helping others find solutions. Having come to grips with the fact that telling people what to do was an epic fail, I searched for a better way. Reading books on active listening was a step in the right direction. However, I still struggled to help others make forward progress. I didn’t know how to transition people from feeling understood to helping them set action steps.

Reading “The COACH Model” was like finding a decoder ring (you remember the ones from cereal boxes…). It organized the chaos. Each communication tool has a function (listening, sharing, etc.), but questions are the key. Questions, the right questions, enabled me to help others without being manipulative, controlling, arrogant… or just downright annoying. No one likes being told what to do. So, how do you help people find solutions without telling them what to do? Coaching.

Addicted to Busy

10/26/2017

Busyness Driven by Desire to Please God-

Years ago I discovered a tension in my life and ministry. Not a tension between other people, but a tension inside of me, the tension between being still and being busy. Maybe you have felt it also. Because of my desire to hear God’s “well done”, I found myself busy doing for God. I desired to see God glorified through me, so I did, and did, and did. I was addicted to busyness.

I would like to say that I was trusting God for the results (because I felt that I was), but my actions told a different story. One indicator of this was that I felt guilty when I would stop working. If I wasn't doing something, I felt I was being lazy, unproductive and unfruitful. So I would fill up every empty spot with something. You know the drill.

My life showed what I really believed: that doing was the most important thing. I was more dependent on my actions for results than on God. If I was truly dependent on God for the results, then I would have spent more time alone with Jesus, more time in prayer and less time worrying about details while trying to "look busy”.

Busyness Driven by Desire for Productive Ministry-

I also desired a productive ministry. I discovered that I felt productive when I was extremely busy. It felt like I was so important to the ministry that I couldn’t slow down. I was always doing something, surely all that activity was productive!

Resource of the month: Leading on Empty

10/18/2017

Resources -
Each month I want to share a resource that has helped me in life or ministry. I pray that these are helpful and point you to some great resources!

"The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who will give me a book I have not read.'"
- Abraham Lincoln

Leading on Empty: Refilling Your Tank and Renewing Your Passion
by Wayne Cordeiro

Ministry is draining. Thankfully, God promises to renew us and give us strength to minister. But, as the author Wayne Cordeiro reminds us: “We don’t forget that we are Christians. We forget that we are human, and that one oversight alone can debilitate the potential of our future.” We tend to push ourselves too hard for too long, not realizing that little by little our spiritual and physical tank is running dry.

Wayne wrote this book because of what he learned, the hard way. After pushing for years in ministry, he finally came face to face with burnout. He shares the lessons learned to help others.

For those that have been in ministry for some time, “Leading on Empty” serves as a prescription for renewal. For those that are just beginning, it serves as a preventative plan to structure your life and ministry to endure.

Here are some of my key takeaways from the book:

The Comfort of God

10/13/2017

A few years ago my wife had to have a potentially cancerous tumor in her neck removed. Hospital waiting rooms are a hard place, but the nearness of God is often most felt in those times. While I sat in the waiting room during her surgery I prayed and wrote in my journal. God brought peace and encouragement from His word.

That journal entry is the basis for this post.

Have you ever had a trial that overwhelmed your life?

You know the kind. When first faced with the trial, it is like a huge cliff in your path, stopping all forward momentum. Your life comes to a screeching halt and from your vantage point you see no way around it.

If you are like me, when you face trials you are quick to look at the whole problem. We never merely look at today’s problem; we look at tomorrow's, and then the next day, etc. As we look at the endless problems that could come our way we think, "I can’t continue”. We don’t feel that we have the strength to pass through our problem.

A few years ago the Lord allowed me to go through one of these trials. In the midst of it, God used the words of Jeremiah to instruct my heart and bring great comfort.

Jeremiah lived a hard life, filled with trials. He was utterly dismayed and didn’t know how he could continue (see Lamentations 3:1-20). But even in the midst of trials, he found hope. This same hope is available to us today.

Facing FEAR with FAITH

9/29/2017

Our family recently went through a time of uncertainty. While not going into the details, God used this trial to force us to rely 100% on God for our next steps. The situation was completely outside of our control, leaving us to have faith in: 1. God's plan and 2. God's timing.

Over the years, I have realized that there are 2 paths that fear usually takes. Whenever we are thrown into a trial that is outside of our control, it is an opportunity to live in faith or to live in fear.

Here are two paths that fear can take:
1.To fear something is to fear that God is not in control of that something.
2. To fear something is to fear that God’s will is not best for our life.

Fear that God is not in control:

1. The first kind of fear is rooted in trusting God’s complete sovereignty (His eternal plan and control over all that comes to pass). Most of us believe in our head that God is in control, but what happens when a trial comes? I find that my head and my heart are often vastly different.

“Our answer needs to be ‘yes’, before God has ever spoken.”

9/1/2017

This challenge from my college professor (Kelly O’Rear) has guided me for 19 years. Most Christians understand this conceptually, but few in practice. When God lays on our heart an opportunity to serve him, something as simple as sharing the gospel or something as life altering as going into foreign missions, our answer needs to be “yes”, not “I’ll try” or “I’ll do it if _____”.

“I’ll try”: The paths that God leads us down will involve difficulty and discomfort. There will be days we don’t enjoy the ministry. There will be days when other things sound more enticing. When we say “I’ll try”, what we mean is this: “if there comes a point when I am not comfortable or happy then I am taking control”. We haven’t surrendered complete control when we are just “trying it out”. God wants our answer to be “yes”, not “I’ll try”.

I’ll do it if _____”: When we put stipulations on our obedience we rarely take the first step to follow God’s leading. We are like the plane that never gets off the runway. If we only obey God’s leading when it fits into our plans, who is really in control? We are.

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